The family home (aka marital home) can be a sticking point in divorce. There are so many emotions attached to it. It may be a place of happy memories before everything went topsy-turvy. It’s where your kids grew up, or if they are still at home, where you want them to grow up. You may be dead set on keeping it, and willing to fight to do so. If you’re sure that’s the best choice…read on.
Can You Afford It?
You will likely have to buy out your spouse’s share, or trade assets to keep it. Since Washington is a community property state, you and your husband each own a portion of the home (i.e. equity and debt). Unless the parties agree to the division of assets, a judge will decide. It is highly unlikely a judge would order for the house to be awarded to one party, at the exclusion of the other. More likely, the party that wants to keep the house will be ordered to either buy out the other party or exchange another asset of equal value to keep it.
The key is to make sure you can afford it—both buying your ex out, and the ability to continue paying the mortgage and maintain the house.
Houses are Expensive
Upkeep on a house is ongoing and may be cost-prohibitive. So, are basic expenses such as the monthly mortgage payment, taxes, utilities, yard, etc. Especially when you are losing one income. You may then decide to sell the house, only to discover you may find yourself in a position of having to pay capital gains due to appreciation.
Why Do You Want to Hold onto the House?
Is it because the house reminds you of happier times? Is keeping the house a way to stay connected? Are you holding out hope the ex will find the way home if you leave the porch light on? Keeping the house is not going to bring your ex back. The reality is, regardless of who gets the house, the party that wants the divorce has likely already emotionally moved on.
Are You Planning to Make the House A Shrine To Better Days?
Long after the ex is gone, the memories will stay. That can make you feel even more lonely, since you are the only one holding on instead of moving on. Divorce is time to move on and build a new life and new memories. I realize that is easier said than done. Doing so will be very hard if you are holding on tight to the past.
What if You Decide to Remarry Someday?
Perhaps you are the spouse that has moved on. How will your new spouse feel sharing mental space with the ghost of your ex. Or, share the room with you that you once shared with your ex? Conversely, will the ex-spouse freak out when there is a new king (or queen) of the house? Will this in anyway cause tension for the new spouse? How will your kids feel sharing the house they grew up in with a new spouse?
Are You Keeping the House Out of Spite?
Is there even the tiniest motivation to keep the house brought on by vindictiveness? “I will show him.” Or her. Your kids (and ex) will smell that a mile away. Or worse, if that is your goal, your ex may genuinely not care and you’ve saddled yourself with a house you really don’t want, and possibly cannot afford.
It’s Best for the Kids!
Are you sure? Is it really in the best interest of the kids if you are working two jobs, or taking on more hours to afford the house and seeing less of them at a time when they need you most? Of course, you don’t want the kids to be sad, or to leave what is most familiar, but you modeling making a new home, a new start and new memories might be the best thing for your kids. Is keeping the old house a decision based on emotion? If so, that may be a trap keeping you stuck instead of moving on to greener pastures.
Whether you decide to keep the house or not, I am here to help you through the legal steps and support you through the process. Please contact me at: [email protected]
Disclaimer: The information presented here is for general informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice.