If you are expecting a relatively simple and low-conflict divorce, it probably does not matter whether you or your spouse initially file for divorce. However, if you believe that your divorce may involve a contentious court case or custody battle, it could be slightly advantageous to file first for divorce.
Filing first may give you some strategic advantages such as:
Choice of court location. The person who files (i.e. the petitioner) gets to choose the jurisdiction (i.e. location) for the divorce proceedings. In Washington State, the petitioner has the option to file where she lives, or where the other party lives. That could be costly in travel expenses if, for example, the action is filed in Seattle, but the respondent lives in Kennewick and must travel to Seattle for all hearings, and possibly trial. That will cost significantly more than if the other party had filed first where they live.
Control over the pace of the divorce. The party who files first has started the action, and the other party must respond or risk default. While the other party is working on their response, you have a bit of time to plan your next move.
First crack at temporary orders. The party who files first can ask the court for temporary orders prior to notifying the soon to be ex of the divorce filing. Temporary orders can address property, funds, protection orders, child support, spousal maintenance, etc. The non-filing spouse will have an opportunity to respond to the requests made in the temporary orders at a hearing.
A sense of empowerment. For some folks facing divorce, there is a sense of empowerment that goes along with being the first to file.
Yet, none of these advantages are likely to significantly change the outcome of the divorce.
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Disclaimer: The information presented here is for general informational purposes, and does not constitute legal advice.