1. Be Informed and Realistic About the Process
Understand how the process works and come to it with realistic expectations. Courts can be unpredictable. If you approach the process with bad faith, and no willingness to settle—you may put yourself in a situation where a judge will rule far less favorably than you would have fared with compromise.
2. Strive for Reasonable
Reasonable begins with realistic expectations…and an open mind. It is hard to be reasonable when you are overcome with anger or emotion. Consider hiring a counselor who you can bounce your emotions off of in a safe and confidential environment. Playing out motions in a courtroom will cost you $20-30,000 in contested divorce fees, and irreparably harm your case. Your counselor will help you sort out your real and valid emotions. Your LLLT will help you sort out realistic legal expectations. Which brings us to…
3. Seek Out a Counselor (or Other Mental Health Professional)
Time spent with your LLLT consoling you, is better spend building your case. That may sound harsh, but your LLLT is not a trained mental health provider. While she will be understanding and compassionate of your situation, she is not equipped to meet your emotional needs.
4. Be Respectful
You LLLT understands your distress and is also there to protect you and your best interest (as well as that of your children). Protecting theirs is the same as protecting yours. It is your LLLT’s job to help you understand the situation for what it is, not what you want it to be. That way, you can make the best choices. You may not appreciate hearing the truth when it’s bitter, but please remember your LLLT’s role is to help you, and she has your best interest at heart.
5. Be Timely
You are ultimately the driver of your case. That means, if you don’t do your part by supplying your LLLT with the documentation requested, you could be hurting your case. Deadlines are set by the court, and if they are not met, you risk having your case dismissed, or worse, losing by default. It takes time to build a successful case. Turning in documents at the last moment will undermine the effectiveness of your case by limiting the amount of time your LLLT has to prepare. Don’t tie your LLLT’s hands by not being timely in doing your part.
6. Keep Your LLLT Informed
If you learn something new about your case, even if you do not think it’s important, tell your LLLT and let her decide. And, if you are the one that needs to drop a bomb, it is better to do so prior to your LLLT finding out from the other side at a hearing. It is much harder to damage control situations like that after the fact. Be honest and upfront with your LLLT about everything. EVERYTHING. Remember, you share LLLT-client privilege that is the same as attorney-client privilege. Be truthful and honest with your LLLT upfront about all issues that are relevant to your case.
7. Follow Your LLLT’s Advice
Your LLLT has the knowledge and experience to provide you with the proper guidance in regard to your case. That said, her advice and guidance are only as good as your willingness to follow it. Your LLLT is skilled and passionate about helping others. Don’t compromise your case by not following her advice. If you don’t have the trust and confidence in your LLLT to do so, you may want to consider finding another one.
8. Don’t Make the Situation Harder That It Already is
If your LLLT must follow you around putting out fires, it will become very costly, and might compromise your case. That means, don’t start trouble with the opposing party, or with opposing counsel. As difficult as it may be in the midst of your emotional pain, put the best interest of your children and co-parenting first. Raw emotions can easily be riled up, and nothing good will come of it and may leave you with unintended consequences—like losing custody. Let your LLLT help you by doing the communicating for you, until you feel stronger.
If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me: [email protected]
Disclaimer: The information presented here is for general informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice.